Being ghosted…boy is that shitty. Being ghosted means you investing your time and effort into some form of relationship with someone who turns out to be not worthy of all that.
Why you ask?
Because they turn out to be more cowardly than history’s most famous cowards- had I known any- and they leave you with no explanation whatsoever.
They stop answering texts, calls, or emails and wait for you to get the hint. All because they don’t want to deal with the “inconvenience” of telling you that they are not interested.
Let’s get real about this, no BS. We’ve all been ghosted, at least once. And it hurt like a bitch, but why?
Reason #1: You lose your sense of self-worth.
While getting ghosted by some low-life idiot shouldn’t really affect your life in any way (you actually should be thankful), it still makes you doubt your self-worth.
You sit alone at night, and your mind starts to wander and the overthinking starts. You begin to wonder where you went wrong, replaying your entire time with this person, just wanting to pinpoint the moment where you think you screwed up.
It’s because you were left behind with no explanation or even a dry break-up text that you start believing you are not even worth that.
Reason #2: You develop a huge self-doubt concept that you take with you to the next relationship.
Let’s say you move past this and perhaps meet someone else, someone more decent; you are still going to be crippled by the thoughts of what happened before.
After filling your mind with irrational thoughts that you were the reason why the last person left, you are going to be continually thinking about what you can do to prevent getting ghosted again: Should I play cool? Should I not double-text? I shouldn’t send them a heart emoji; it shows I care.
You are gonna start doubting every single thing you do in that new and, hopefully, healthy relationship. And that will be the reason that ruins it.
Reason #3: The act of “ghosting” shows how little respect was actually there.
Everyone wants to feel respected and valued. And when we get ghosted, we realise that we were never respected.
If the other person had actually respected us, they wouldn’t have treated us like an inmate object with no feelings, and assume we’d be cool with it.
Reason #4: Hello, trust issues my old friend. Ghosting is here!
Let’s settle that being ghosted is practically a breach of trust. You have been establishing a relationship with that person, which means trust had to be one of the most important values. You become vulnerable and let your guard down.
When you start having faith in them and trusting that they would never mistreat that trust, you expect the same from them, and you expect them to value that trust.
However, when they ghost you, they have broken that trust. You lose faith in them and possibly in other people around you.
Reason #5: Ghosting appears out of thin air, literally.
You meet this new cool person, and everything is going amazing. You’re thinking ‘this could be the one’, and then BAM…they disappear like a damn good magician.
You don’t see it coming. There is no heads-up, nothing. One-minute you guys are texting each other funny cat videos, and the next you’re getting the old “seen with no reply”. Nothing prepares you for it.
Reason #6: Ghosting depends more on the person, and less on the action itself.
Allow me to explain, if you get ghosted by a person you are not that invested in or someone you don’t exactly imagine this going anywhere with, it won’t hurt that much. It will still be offensive, sure, but you won’t stay up all night listening to Adele with a bucket of ice-cream.
However, if you truly love and care about that person and they ghost you…it’s like no other pain.
And what sucks even more, you actually miss them. Now, not only did you get ghosted, but you also miss the person who ghosted you. That makes you feel more pathetic than you already did.
Bottom line, ghosting someone is cruel and heartless. If you are not planning on staying in someone’s life, for whatever reason you have, say something.
Leaving them to figure it out themselves SUCKS. It’s better to have an explanation because with that they get closure, and they understand that they did nothing wrong.
If you are someone who’s recently got ghosted, I’m not gonna give you stupid advice like: ‘Move on.’ ‘Forget about it.’ ‘It happens, deal with it.’ No, none of that.
You cared about someone, and they didn’t respect that. You did nothing wrong, and this is not your fault. It’s on them, ALWAYS. Take all the time you need to accept that, and then get back to being the awesome and compassionate human you are.