Shows like “Midterm” forced us to talk about things we usually keep quiet about. Depression, trauma, compulsive lying, emotional withdrawal, that constant fear of being left behind—on screen, these issues get named and picked apart. In real life, it’s never that simple.
When it’s your own child, sibling, or friend, everything hits harder. There’s no manual. You just know something’s off, and you’re terrified of making it worse.
Most people freeze. Some panic. Others rush in, desperate to fix everything right now. None of it actually helps. Supporting someone who’s struggling isn’t about the perfect answer. It’s about avoiding harm as you help.
Stop Turning Concern Into Labels
If you label someone, they’ll close up fast. For example, saying, “You’re lying for attention,” doesn’t help. Even with good intentions, these often sound judgmental.
Mental health struggles don’t show up with a name tag. They show up as behavior: pulling away, getting defensive, lying, mood swings, and numbness. Most of the time, these are survival tools, not character flaws. Treating them like moral failures just piles on more shame to something that’s already too much.
You don’t need to play therapist to support someone. What you need is patience, awareness, and the guts to sit with discomfort.
How you say things matters more than you think. Saying, “I’ve noticed you’ve been distant lately and I’m worried about you” is worlds apart from, “You’ve changed, and you’re acting weird.”
One statement opens a door, while the other locks it.
Don’t Minimise What You Don’t Understand
It’s tempting to try to lighten the mood. To reassure. To put things in perspective.
But saying things like “others have it worse,” “it’s just a phase,” or “you’re overthinking” usually does the opposite of what you want.
You’re basically telling them their pain isn’t real enough to matter.
You don’t have to get it to respect it. And you don’t have to fix it for them to feel supported.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen and let the silence happen. Silence isn’t failure. Sometimes it’s the only way someone feels safe enough to exist without pressure.
If You’re a Parent: Safety Before Control
For parents, it’s tougher. The protective urge is strong. You want answers, solutions, and safety.
But trying to control everything can feel like judgment to someone who already feels exposed.
What matters most at the start is emotional safety. Your child needs to know they won’t be punished, mocked, or shamed for opening up. That means no interrogations, no threats, and no comparing them to siblings or to how things used to be.
Look for patterns, not just one-off moments. Mental health struggles are about what keeps happening, not one bad week or a single argument.
If therapy is needed, your approach matters. It must feel like support, not a punishment or proof that something’s wrong.
If You’re a Friend: Show Up, But Know Where You End
Friends are often the first safe place, especially when home isn’t.
Check in, even if they pull away. Sometimes a simple, “I’m here whenever you want to talk,” means more than a long message or advice.
But know your limits. You’re not responsible for saving anyone or being their therapist.
If supporting them starts to drain your own mental health, it’s okay to step back. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re being real about what you can handle.
Encourage professional help, but do so gently. Do not give ultimatums or apply pressure. Never promise to keep something secret if you think they might be in danger.
What Helps More Than Big Gestures
Consistency matters. Show up when you say you will. Be emotionally reliable. Follow through. These things build trust over time, and they matter way more than dramatic speeches or one-off interventions.
Respect their pace. Healing isn’t a straight line, and pushing someone to “get better” usually just pushes them further away.
Learn what you can. The more you understand about trauma and emotional responses, the less you’ll take their behavior personally.
When You Should Take Action
If someone talks about self-harm, extreme isolation, or feeling hopeless, this isn’t the time to wait and see. Reach out to professionals, trusted adults, or emergency services if needed. Sometimes caring means stepping in, even if it makes them angry for a while.
You don’t have to be perfect to support someone who’s struggling. You just have to be present, honest, and willing to listen without judgment.
People do not heal because someone forced them to. They heal because someone made them feel safe enough to try healing.
