Some of us may have had their heart broken once or twice, but have you experienced a breakup that tormented you? Making you question the foundation of life?
We’ve all been there after opening up to someone who’s not on the same emotional level as you during the whole relationship, or even just a small part of it.
When you invest a lot of yourself in a relationship, it seems like an impossible process to move on from an ex. We go through a range of emotions. You are starting from denial, pain, rejection until you come to accept the reality of things.
It’s an inevitable process, and there are no shortcuts or recipes to mend a broken heart. Healing takes time because pain always demands to be felt.
But how does one heal from this breakup?
While healing is not an overnight process, there are some things that you can do to ease this process for yourself.
Express, don’t suppress
There is no way around your pain, so do not ignore what you are going through. Allow yourself the time and space to feel things, no matter how vulnerable it makes you.
Even those who think or claim that they’re heartless, they are just as vulnerable – if not even more, than others. When those emotions are too intense, take some time out.
Allow yourself to be sad! Be a cliche; listen to sad music, start journaling, be as pathetic as it gets. Remember, cliches are cliches for a reason; they work!
Do not go around seeking emotional validation from random people. Instead, confide in a trusted person. It is important to remember, however, that just because your relationship has failed, it doesn’t mean you have failed as a person.
It’s easy to throw the blame entirely on the other person when you think of the reasons it didn’t work. While it may not be the case for some, but in most cases, both parties can be at fault. So it’s time to buckle up, and start owning to your own mistakes!
We understand; this is a tough pill to swallow. It’s hard to admit the part you played in the breakup. But trust us, as soon as hold yourself accountable for your shortcomings, you set foot on a path of self-growth, and you begin to move on.
Establish a routine
Eat, sleep, exercise – repeat.
Those three essential elements make a great start for a regular cycle. Once you can maintain a balance, throw in something new. Perhaps a hobby you find joy in or meeting new people outside your social bubble. This might be hard at first. But hang in there, at least you’re going through the motions which will speed the healing process.
Of course, other essentials can be added to the routine, like work or studying, but remember to keep those three in your routine.
Identify your needs
Now that you have spent enough time and distance after your last relationship, it will be easier to evaluate what worked and what didn’t effectively. Then, you learn what you require out of a partner.
Break them down into two lists; what you like your partner to do/have, and what you don’t. Reflect on your past relationships as well, not just your last one.
Write down your core values.
Now you can visually see what your values are, your needs, and the core of who you are and what you deserve, which takes us to our last, and final, advice.
Know your worth
Believe in yourself.
Trust that you’re worthy of love and affection.
Pay attention to how you feel around people, and be mindful of your triggers.
Quit punishing yourself for your flaws.
Instead, embrace yourself to the fullest. Your thoughts become your reality. Therefore, you must love yourself to be able to enjoy anyone properly.